Being a minimalist, by Ema (a messy minimalist)
(it me!)
If you’re feeling tired and overwhelmed, read on to learn how you can demystify minimalism, find peace of mind, and live the life you want.
Minimalism looks different to everyone so let’s celebrate that - learn how minimalism can make a huge shift in your world, even if you’re messy like me!
Tell me a bit about yourself
I’m Ema, I live with my husband, Sean, toddler Willow and rescue pup Elsa. We live in a 630sqft one bedroom apartment in North Vancouver, BC.
I work during the week and run Minimize My Mess in my spare time. My favourite thing to do on Sunday afternoons is to look for treasure in local thrift stores.
I’ve always been messy, and judged myself harshly for it. I thought I was lazy and incompetent, which made me feel very ashamed. I dreaded guests, bought things as therapy, and was unable to keep things tidy for more than a day or too.
Would you describe yourself as a minimalist?
Yes now I would. I didn’t for a very long time though.
I call it minimalism imposter syndrome:
I didn’t think I was doing minimalism “well enough” to call myself a minimalist
I didn’t look “minimalist enough” for me to call myself a minimalist
I had" “too many things” to call myself a minimalist
I was worried that other people would judge me if I said I was a minimalist
Which is all just silly - minimalism looks different for everyone.
Luckily, one of the things I’ve let go of is worrying what other people think of me, and there’s no such thing as the minimalism police.
Minimalism is our outlook and intentions, not how your life looks from the outside.
How were you introduced to minimalism?
I struggled to keep up with life when Willow was born. They say that looking after a baby is easy, but that looking after a baby and trying to do anything at the same time is impossible.
That was so true for me. I was a loving new mama life, but the thought of doing anything over and above keeping a tiny human alive felt so exhausting and overwhelming.
I was living in pjs, rocking a Mum bun and surrounded by mess and chaos at the time. The thought of going back to work after my parental leave gave me anxiety as I had no idea how I would keep all of those plates spinning.
I wrote about 25 things your clutter says about you, and they are all direct examples from my own life pre-minimalism.
I started to look for ways to make life easier and google opened my eyes to minimalism.
Full disclaimer - the only thing that’s changed is that I’m not always surrounded by chaos now - I still rock the pjs and Mum bun! The difference is that it’s by choice nowadays :)
What did you used to think about minimalism?
I thought minimalism was concrete floors, full length windows and Eames lounge chairs - think the home of a rich psychologist in a movie. So iconic. So unrealistic.
I did get a reproduction Eames chair (on credit card, obvs), but I just used it as a place to pile my laundry.
Bottom line - I thought minimalism was something for other people who had their shit together.
What does minimalism mean to you? Is it about more than physical possessions?
Brene Brown’s definition of a boundary is what’s ok and what’s not ok. I feel like that lends itself to minimalism very well too.
For me it all boils down to being intentional. Choosing what I do and don’t want in my life, and how I do and don’t want to spend my time.
A lot of my life was spent in a people-pleasing, Joneses-impressing fog.
Now I question everything:
Do I want to do this?
Is there an easier way to do that?
Am I doing this to impress others?
What if I stopped doing that thing?
It doesn’t mean that I completely abandon everything that doesn’t spark joy - the laundry still needs to be done for example. But I make sure that it’s as easy as possible by creating capsule wardrobes for us all, only buying machine washable clothes, and by not folding clean laundry.
Where are you on your minimalism journey?
We successfully downsized from a large two bedroom into a 630 sqft one bed apartment in 2020, by letting go of roughly two thirds of our belongings. I’m really proud of how far we’ve come!
Now we are finding homes for everything and making small tweaks to make our small space work even better.
Minimalism is an ongoing process, like brushing your teeth. You don’t just do one big teeth brush once a year and then leave it! For best results, you build it into your daily routine and bush for a few minutes every day
Is your home “Pinterest perfect”?
Lol - absolutely not!
With a toddler, puppy and two mess-prone people this place gets pretty hectic.
It’s different to before though. There’s no feeling of overwhelm. I know that the room will be presentable after a quick 5 min tidy.
How has minimalism affected your finances?
Ha - it’s so night and day that I almost don’t recognize the grown up that I’ve become! The best things is that it wasn’t even intentional. Everything just fell in to place.
We got debt free years ahead of schedule, saved an emergency fund, and have started investing.
I don’t know a single minimalist who didn’t see a big improvement in their finances.
What are the cons of minimalism?
Not being able to fully enjoy that “high” of spending money. I’ve got a long history of impulsive shopping behind me, but it’s just not the same now.
There’s been three instances in the last six months were I wasn’t intentional with my spending:
I spent double our food budget at Christmas,
I threw everything that caught my eye into my basket at the pet store when we first got our rescue pup
I bought a pricey course without even chatting to Sean about it.
It felt gross every time.
I’d much rather buy things intentionally nowadays, but sometimes that means sitting in my emotions and not trying to ease them with a quick online shopping hit.
What are the pros of minimalism?
There are soooo many, but here’s a selection:
Life feels more manageable
I’m a better Mum
I’m a nicer wife
I have time and space to pursue my passion (oh hi, you’re reading it, thanks for that)
An uncluttered home that was cleaned a week ago looks cleaner than a cluttered home that was cleaned that morning
I feel more focused
Our home looks bigger & brighter
Cleaning is much quicker and easier, so we do it more often
We save money by only buying things we’ll actually use / love
What advice would you give someone who wasn’t sure if minimalism was for them?
Minimalism can seem confusing, unobtainable & even elitist, so my goal is to demystify it so you can decide if it’s something that could work in your life.
At it’s simplest form, minimalism is just having less shit.
Less shit = less tidying
Less shit = more free time
Less shit = less mess
Less shit = being more authentic
Less shit = less spending
Less shit = less debt
Less shit = more savings
Less shit = less waste
Less shit = valuing what you do have
Less shit = less cleaning
Less shit = less decision fatigue
Less shit = knowing yourself better
Less shit = less time wasted
Less shit = less stress
If you let go of things in your life that don’t serve you, you will feel better.
What advice would you give someone who is just starting out?
There’s no right or wrong way to do it - follow people for inspiration, sure, but take what you want and leave the rest
There’s no deadline - no beating yourself up or rushing required
Start off with physical possessions - after a while, a lot of minimalists find themselves letting go of other things too - like expectations, unhealthy spending habits, commitments, complications, negative money mindsets, toxic relationships, digital clutter, insecurities, etc.
Call yourself a minimalist straight away - there’s no membership criteria so if you’re into it, embrace it :)
You can either start small (think one kitchen drawer), or big (with my 60 day challenge! Part 1: how to declutter 80% of your mess in one afternoon & part 2: how to organize your home in 30 days)
Any last thoughts on minimalism?
It feels so good to let go of things, give it a try!
Are there any other minimalists that you’d like to hear from? Get in touch & let me know!
