15 Easy Tips on How to stop being “lazy” and messy
I’ve always described myself as a messy and lazy slob, and judged myself harshly for it. It made me feel incompetent, unworthy and ashamed.
I dreaded anyone seeing my home and impulsively bought things I couldn’t afford and didn’t have space for to feel better (spoiler alert - it didn’t make me feel better).
Even if I did a big tidy up, I felt physically and mentally incapable of keeping things tidy for more than a day or two.
I remember getting so angry when the house was messy, but feeling so helpless to do anything about it.
I felt exhausted, frustrated and defeated.
Discovering minimalism changed everything, so I started Minimize My Mess so that messy people like me could find resources created just for them.
If you’ve ever said any of the following to yourself, you’re in the right place:
My house is so messy it makes me sad
Why am I so disorganized
How can I make life easier so I can keep up
My partner/friends are so much tidier than me
Why is my house always messy
My messy house stresses me out
How can I be a neat and tidy person when I've always been messy
My messy house is ruining my marriage
Read on for 15 tips on how to stop being messy and lazy.
Can a slob become organized?
Abso-fricken-lutely!
Check this out if you want to hear more about my transformation from messy to minimalist.
How to stop being messy and lazy
Love, forgive and accept yourself exactly as you are
Work out what you want your home and life to feel like
Ask for help when needed
We messy people do not have the luxury of owning as many things as we want - we can drastically reduce the mess by minimizing and organizing our home
Start small and get into a daily habit by setting a timer and tidying for 1 minute - build up the amount of time when you have the energy to do so
How to help a messy person get organized?
A quick note for anyone that’s reading this on behalf of a messy person in their life:
Hi, welcome - thanks for being here!
The same concepts apply, but I’d gently suggest that you concentrate on tip no.1 and do your best to love, forgive and accept them exactly as they are.
After all, we only have control over our own actions and reactions.
Feel free to share this post with them, but allow them the space and grace to take it in when they’re ready to.
I’ve never met anyone who’s been able to make long term, effective change before they’re in the right headspace to do so.
1) Love, forgive and accept yourself exactly as you are
Why is being messy so bad? What causes a person to be messy?
Being messy or lazy is neither positive nor negative.
Some people have brown eyes, some people have green eyes
Some people have the voice of an angel, some people sound like a strangled cat when they try to sing
Some people are more naturally tidy, some people are more naturally messy
Some people grew up being taught important life skills like cooking, tidying, cleaning, personal finances and investing - so they have a head start over others in these areas
We have zero control over any of the above, so there’s no place for pride or shame.
You’re not a bad person if you can’t sing - but there’s nothing stopping you from taking singing lessons and practicing so you can become an aokish singer.
And that’s my goal as a lifelong messy person - to have an aokish, C+ tidy home.
Personal update:
Since writing this, I was diagnosed with ADHD.
A lot of people with ADHD struggle to declutter, organize and tidy so find themselves living in messy homes.
It never occurred to me that there may be a medical reason for my messiness.
It’s helped me understand my past a lot better, and be more understanding and compassionate towards myself.
It’s also helped me create systems that work with my fluctuating levels of energy and motivation, not against them.
Here’s more on my ADHD journey & the struggles it causes me
Here are some hacks on how we organize our home with ADHD in mind
2) Be kind
Pay attention to how to speak to yourself about your home and your energy levels, and whenever able to - choose to be kind.
If you’d like to take a more proactive approach, take a moment to write down a list of negative observations about your home and energy/motivation levels.
Now write a positive version of each point. E.g.:
“I’m such a disgusting slob” becomes “I’m struggling to look after my home at the moment, let’s simplify some things to make life easier?”
“I’m disgusting because I let the dishes pile up in the sink” becomes “I deserve to live in a home with a clean and hygienic kitchen”
“I can’t believe I watched TV all weekend, I’m so lazy” becomes “I really needed to rest this weekend, I’m proud of myself for honouring that”
You don’t have to believe the positive version. Just try saying it out loud a few times.
3) Understand laziness better
What causes laziness?
We’re all wired differently and all run on varying energy levels.
Our motivation, level of interest, peers, environment, diet, physical, mental and emotional health can all boost or deplete these energy sources.
I believe that we’re all just doing the best we can.
The surprising root of my laziness
A lot of my laziness stems from perfectionism.
Sounds weird, right?
I don’t want to even bother starting something unless I know it’s going to turn out perfectly.
For example, my inner script about my home used to be: why should I start organizing if I can’t afford 30 x cute matching storage bins from the container store?
If it wasn’t going to be “Pinterest perfect”, why bother.
That’s why I’m now a strong believer that perfection is BS.
The 4 benefits of being lazy
I believe that we all have strengths and weaknesses in this life.
Laziness is so often seen as a negative thing, but I see four positive benefits:
We lazy people:
Are excellent problem solvers because we are efficient, creative and innovative
Are natural prioritizers as we can quickly pull out all the important and urgent tasks and ignore things that are just “make work” tasks
Take responsibility for our own happiness by setting clear boundaries, which helps us build up our emotional health
Prioritize rest and filling up our cup, so we are often able to be there for loved ones when they need us
Does laziness even exist?
To be honest, I don’t think that laziness exists outside of a capitalist lens.
I honestly believe that we’re all doing the best we can with the visible and invisible barriers that we’re working against.
I think that we live in a capitalist society that measures people’s worth on their productivity (but only with certain, acceptable tasks).
Who’s to say that you’re a “better” person if your laundry basket is empty?
Maybe your laundry basket is empty but you enjoy making people feel less than
Maybe your laundry basket is overflowing, but you make everyone you come in to contact with laugh so much that they do a little snort
We do not all have the same privileges, energy levels, abilities, or priorities.
Productivity does not determine our worth.
People are worthy just because they’re people.
4) Identify your end goal
Wanting to be less messy and lazy is all well and good - but how do you know when you’ve reached your goal?
What does a tidy home look like to you? My goal is to be able to tidy each room in 5 minutes or less
How do you want your home to feel?
What sort of things would you do on a daily, weekly, monthly basis if you weren’t “lazy”?
Do you want to be less messy and less lazy for you, someone else, or both?
5) Learn the secret of a clean and tidy home
The secret to a clean and tidy home is to minimize, then organize, then tidy, then clean.
Each step gets easier once the previous one is completed.
6) Minimize
Minimizing - aka decluttering - means letting go of anything that you don’t use or love.
There’s a magic number of items that I can keep reasonably tidy, most of the time.
You have a magic number too - I recommend that you keep minimizing until you find it :)
Where should you start decluttering?
I always recommend that you start with a capsule wardrobe because it only takes 2 hours and clothes so often make up a large portion of our chaos and mess.
If you’re a sentimental old fool like me, here are 13 tips to let go of your sentimental items.
If paperwork is a big issues for you, here’s a ridiculously easy way to declutter your paperwork.
If you’re indecisive about what to keep, here’s my foolproof decluttering process that makes it easy to know what to let go of.
If you’d like to dive deeper, check out the first half of my free challenge: how to become a minimalist in 30 days.
If you’re not sure what you’re problem areas are, try this:
Take a moment to think about your home and your day to day routine. Mentally walk through the rooms and imagine yourself going about your day.
What areas of your home or times of the day are the most frustrating?
If you pictured yourself tossing and turning, unable to sleep at night, maybe your priority should be to inject some calm into your bedroom or nighttime routine?
If you mentally cringed at the piles of dishes in the sink, can you invest in a dishwasher? We found a free one on facebook marketplace.
If the clutter around the front door frustrates you every night before bed, think about your routine as you walk in the door. Is there space to easily put things away, or is it less effort to just dump everything the second you walk in after an exhausting day?
7) Organize
Organizing means giving everything a logical & labelled home.
It’s problem solving and it may take a few times before you find the spot that’s right for you.
Here are some organizing tips:
Keep like with like
Keep things you use more often: front and centre
Keep things you use less often: high up, low down and behind other things
Use small boxes to maximize storage in drawers and on shelves
Make things ridiculously easy to put away - the easier it is, the more likely you are to do it
Give everything a logical home - challenge yourself to make your life easier by keeping every thing in the best spot possible. This will save you time and your sanity. When you find the right spot for something, you’ll wonder how you every coped with it being kept anywhere else.
Label where everything goes - no matter how organized you are, it usually doesn’t apply to everyone else in the household. In fact, 86% of responders to a recent poll shared that other people in their home didn’t know where everything belonged. Labels make tidying stress free and easy for everyone in the home.
If you’d like to dive deeper, check out the second half of my free challenge: how to organize your home in 30 days.
8) Tidy
Start small by starting a new daily habit: a teeny tiny tidy.
Set a timer for at least 1 minute - more if you have the energy - and go, go, go!
You’ll often find energy to go over time, and even on days when you don’t, you’ll feel better.
One of my favourite metaphors is that tidying is like brushing your teeth - doing it once a week just isn’t enough.
Maintaining is a gazillion times easier than tackling a mountain of mess.
See my 25 tidying tips, tricks and hacks.
9) Get extra help
We are not alone, even if it feels that way sometimes.
Here are some suggestions on how to ask for extra help:
Other people in the home - chores should be as even as possible, however that looks in your household. My husband and I have set jobs and try to have the same amount of downtime to keep things fair.
Cleaning service - this could be a one off, temporary, or on a permanent basis. You don’t have to clean prior to them coming, but it makes their life easier if you try to clear surfaces as much as possible.
Friends and family - we all seem to know a Monica Gellar that loves this stuff
Facebook groups - for emotional support, I highly recommend this Facebook group: Messy House Support Group
Do a skills exchange - if you feel bad at accepting help, consider doing a skills swap
Ask for vouchers for cleaning / organizing service for gifts - a great idea if you have any special occasions coming up
10) Cheats
Here are some examples of cheats that help me have an easily tidied home:
‘Lazy but tidy’ box - when I’m doing a quick tidy and I come across something that either doesn’t have a home, or I can’t be bothered to put away properly, I put it into our “lazy but tidy” box. When I have more energy, I go through the box and find homes for things inside.
Keep things behind closed doors - Some people love open shelving and clear bins, but I like solid storage boxes and keeping things behind doors for a more streamlined look
Grab & go storage - this was a gamechanger for me because I’ve never been able to have a tidy bedroom before. This is a clothes storage hack that works especially well for kids, teenagers and messy people. Bonus - no more folding clothes!
Hooks everywhere - I love putting hooks on vertical surfaces as it’s just as easy to throw something on a hook as it is to throw it on the floor.
Clean laundry basket - when I don’t feel like throwing things into the correct grab & go storage bin, I have a clean laundry basket to put clothes in that need to be put away
Ditch the coffee table - I couldn’t keep the coffee table clear of clutter, so I ditched it and use small side tables instead. They are much less prone to clutter and our living room looks bigger for it!
Wipe down the bathroom sink as you brush your teeth - a quick win
Make it fun - anything feels doable when It’s Tricky by Run DMC is playing
Tidy in order - this is such a silly thing but it takes away so much overwhelm, makes tidying go quicker, and dare I say it …makes it fun?! It’s like living in a Where’s Wally book, as you scan the room for only certain mess. Here’s our order:
make the bed
clothes
toys
dishes
rubbish / recycling
things with homes
things without homes
straighten up
11) Rules
Lots of people find these concepts helpful, so I wanted to include them for you:
Touch things once - this one doesn’t work great for me because I’ve never been able to stick to it for more than a day or two, but some people swear by it. The basic idea being once you touch something, put it away instead of just putting it down somewhere it doesn’t belong.
Make your bed every day - Meh. I don’t often stick to this one either. Yes - it makes the room look a gazillion times better and it’s always the first thing I do when I start tidying because it’s a quick win. I liken it to another tip that works great but I don’t do often - put lipstick on every day. It makes me feel so good but it just doesn’t stick for some reason. And that’s ok. Maybe one of these will stick for you.
12) Check in with yourself
Have you always been messy, or is this new? A sudden onset of messiness and low energy may be related to a dip in your physical or emotional health. If so, reach out to a medical professional you feel comfortable talking to.
This article from VeryWellMind.com does a great job of explaining some of the possible connections between messy spaces and mental health.
13) Realistically, do you have time to maintain your home?
Sometimes I tell myself how lazy I am …but then I give my head a shake and remind myself that I work full time, run a side business, and have a hubby, toddler and anxious pup. Plus you know, just general life stuff. So I use this as a prompt to block out lots of down time on my calendar.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, your options are to simplify your life and routine, delegate, or have less home to look after.
Here’s 22 things that your clutter says about you. Spoiler alert - it mostly says you’re busy AF in other areas of your life and you should be kinder to yourself.
14) Focus on self care and rest
This may sound counterintuitive, but most good things are.
Self care and rest can be anything that gives you more energy.
For me, a walk and then a nap counts, but watching Tiktok videos for 2 hours doesn’t.
Everything gets better (and tidier) when I have more energy.
15) Believe you’re worth it
You deserve to live in a calm and well organized home.
Things improved for me drastically when I stopped seeing tidying up as an onerous chore, and reframed it as an act of self care.
I feel calmer and happier with less clutter around.
Conclusion
Here we are - 15 tips later! I hope that you’re feeling more positive than when you first started reading this, and that it’s given you a clear plan for how to stop being messy and lazy.
There are countless tips, tricks and hacks to help make this so much easier for you. You can have a tidy home and an easy life, I promise.
To finish up on a high, check out these 83 fabulous quotes about messy people!
